The Ramblings of Etcetera
by rawrrkitty
Summary: Etcetera's diary - for Nekosoda's diary project thing. Most likely abandoned. Ask Nekosoda.
1. Aug 30th, Aug 31st

**August 30, 2010**

**Mood: **I'm so tired… I need to quit partying all the time, Hahaha! No… I'm kidding, who would invite me to a party… I suck, don't I…

So, hi guys! It's Etcetera! Are you happy to see me? Well… not saying you're, like, a plural. You're just one diary, right? I'm so dumb… no wonder everyone hates me. And you're not even a guy. If you were, you might be hot, but you're just like, a book. I'm going to make you so pretty. And you will love me.

Hahaha.

Did I say I was Etcetera? Well, I am. It's nice to meet you. But you're like, non-living. A concrete noun. Blah blah blah, I don't get English anyway. Cause I'm dumb. I'm a freshman but I probably should be moved down a year cause everyone is smarter than me.

So, what's your name? Oh right, you're just an inanimate object, wow, I probably spelt that wrong. Anyway… your name will be… hmm… well, you do need a name, but you need the _perfect_ name. Maybe I can ask Victoria sometime. Cause she's perfect. Maybe I should call my diary Vicky or something. She'd like that, right?

I write too much… you probably already hate me. Yes, I know that you can't hate me, but I'm going to give you a personality. You're like, really empathetic. And cute! You're going to be the listener cause I'm a major talker… writer… whatevs! Hey, am I cool? Whatevs! Whateeevs!

So, I'm kind of a loner. My mom seems to think I need support on my first days so she's driving me! Isn't that cool? No, not really, huh… but at least I get to be on the same bus as Vicky and Lectra soon!

What do you want to know? Um, so I have my schedule? Is that good? I should probably write it down in you (omg awkward) before I lose it. I always lose things, cause I'm majorly dumb. I'll probably lose you, I hope you don't mind!

So, here goes!

**First hour: **(Mon-Thurs) AP Spanish (no me gusta!), (Fri) Swimming (like, synchronized swimming? This is going to be _totes_ cool, am I cool?)

**Second hour: **Biology (better than chemistry, I guess?)

**Third hour: **World history (Ew, sounds boring?)

(LUNCH)

**Fifth hour: **Algebra (I hate maths so much!)

**Sixth hour: **(Mon, Wed-Fri) AP English Literature (time to faip! Oops, fail… what a faipfail…), (Tues) Choir (I can't sing!)

I'm going to fail everything, right? Oh, pity me, No-name! Pity me!

* * *

My hand really hurts. Pity me! Oh… maybe I need to stop writing, then.

* * *

Lunchtime! I really wanted to write in you before, No-name, but I was so frightened that my teachers were going to, like, tell me off. I hate it when they do that. It makes me feel like my stomach is shriveling up. You know what the core of a nectarine looks like? Yeah, that's my stomach when a teacher tells me off. I've never got detention before. It sounds so scary!

Call me a goody-two-shoes, okay? I'm just not very brave.

Oh, also, my hand kinda hurt. It still does. I'm so silly sometimes, No-name.

I have no food. I told everyone I forgot my lunch. Just like last year, haha. I think they've stopped believing me cause they don't give me as much food as they used to… Victoria's brownie looks so delicious right now. She won't notice if I steal it, right? Oh, but I don't want her to be angry at me…

* * *

I'm writing during class oh my god, I'm such a daredevil!

But I'll stop now…

* * *

I really want to draw something here… but I'm scared…

* * *

I'm home now! Mom drove me… everyone saw her running up to me and kissing me a million times all over the face! It was the most embarrassing thing _ever_! I don't think I can go to school tomorrow now… Ugh… love you, Mom? But you're like, no longer Mommy, okay?

I hate this so much… and I don't think I'm getting this lipstick off my face anytime soon, eww.

* * *

**August 31, 2010**

**Mood: **Dead. Haha, just kidding! I gotcha, didn't I?

Hiiii No-name! It's me again! So, I'm still not on the bus, but I did tell Mom not to drive me right up to the school today. I don't want another embarrassing scene! Gosh, I can't believe her! And do you know what she said when I complained?

She was all, "Hahaha, that's my Etcy baby."

Oh my god! I think I hate her. But, I mean, at least I have a mom, right? I mean… I have no idea where my dad is… But you so don't want to know this depressing shit, right! Oops! Dirty word!

My mum is playing cruddy (that's not a dirty word right?) music and it makes me kinda sad. I think I'm going to stop here. You so don't want to hear about how sad I am.

* * *

Mom. Mom, don't even – argh!

* * *

She walked me up to the school. I don't even – and now people think I'm a total… ARGH!

* * *

Lunchtime again. I'm so hungry. But at least I'm going to be skinny since no one seems to want to feed me. Hmph! And then I'll be so skinny that everyone will be jealous and they'll be jealous of how damn bony I'm going to be.

Life will be awesome. And hungry. But mostly awesome.

_Suck on that, bitches_!

…I didn't say that. Oops, I'm using a pen! Can't rub it out! I'm such an idiot!

* * *

Not even going to talk about Mum today. Life is tiring. I'm totally shocked that I'm not suicidal. No! Etcy! Don't say that! Be optimistic!

…nah. I think I'm just going to grab some chocolate or something and watch TV.

* * *

…I forgot about being skinny…

DAMN YOU, NO-NAME. Why can't you support me? Why can't you be a better friend? Oh, pity me, No-name…

Which reminds me. You need a name.

…Argh! I think I might take a cold shower. All my best thinking is done in the shower. Tata for now!

* * *

**A/N: Rawrrkitty here. Yes, this is me claiming Etcy in Nekosoda's Diary Group Writing Thing. So there. ;D If anyone wants classes with Etcy, her timetable is up there... somewhere... yup. Remember _not_ to clash with what Nekosoda and I have already said. T'would be annoying. :O**

**But honestly, this right here? Fun times are ahead. Up there, that is Etcetera's character. So don't make her out to be anything else. Thanks guys. ;D OH! Suggestions for the name of Etcy's Diary? I'll probably change the title to that. So, yes.**

**Ask me if you have any questions regarding classes with Etcy, anything Etcy, really. Wanna be frahns? :'D  
**

**(I'm in NZ. American stuff confuses me. Please bear with me, alright?)**

**Tata for now!**


	2. Sept 1st, Sept 2nd

**September 1st, 2010**

**Mood:** If someone would come and rape my hair, please, it would make a great improvement.

So, I guess I totally forgot to mention this, but… well, my mom cut my hair! And, uh… well… what can I say?

… everyone's going to hate it! I hate my mom! I can't believe she did this to me! She was all, "Hey, Etcetera-honey, I hate seeing all that hair in your eyes. Let me cut it… just a little." And because I am a complete and utter idiot… ughghhghhhhh…

Should I go to school today? I'm going to ask my mum if I can have a day off. Brb, No-name! (does that make me cool? Using chatspeak in you? Heeheheeeheeeeee)

* * *

…Insert your dirtiest word here, No-name. The _effing_ dirtiest.

Mom is such a goddamn bitch sometimes. Urgghh!

Me: Mom, can I have a day off?

Her: No. Why? (she says no before I even tell her! She's such a… sheep poopie!)

Me: My hair looks like… our dinner last night. Spaghetti. And cows. And chocolate ice-cream. Smushed together, like, _smush_. Ew, right?

Her: Sounds perfectly tasty to me. (like, what the? I'm talking about my _hair_, here.)

Me: Well, I'm sick. Like, I've got, uh… whaddaya call it? Scorpio?

Her: Cancer?

Me: Yup.

Her: Aww, poor baby. But it's not contagious, so off you go!

She's such a mean, evil queen, right? I mean, what if I actually _did_ have Taurus?...Uh, cancer… I was never good with star signs. Anyway, I could die. Right now. Watch me _die_, Mom.

* * *

I know it's only like, early, but I just had breakfast.

I changed my mind about my hair. My hair does not look like spaghetti-cow-icecream. My hair looks like sloppy porridge. Sloppy, sloppy porridge. Slop.

Needless to say, I tipped it into my mouth, ran to the toilet and vomited. That's how gross and sloppy it was. Mom didn't notice. She, like, hates it when I don't eat my breakfast but what she doesn't understand is that I _can't_. Food is digusting… and friendly… but mostly disgusting. And fattening.

Oh, Mom's here. I'm just about to get on the bus. What's she saying…? Hang on, Mom.

* * *

_No, Mom, I do NOT want you to ride the bus with me, NO MOM NO-_

* * *

It's okay. I shook her off. But I think Victoria and everyone else on the bus saw her crying on me. And kissing me. I have lipstick stains all over my face again and this is the most embarrassing thing ever, ugh and my hair and OHNOOHGODNO. Sorry… that was grammatically incorrect, wasn't it? If you were mean, No-name, you would be so fed up.

What's that? You are? I'm, like, _so_ offended!

…kidding myself into believing you're even slightly animate? I'm so pathetic.

I'm going to go. Victoria's giving me her bitch look. And it hurts.

* * *

¡Hola! Me llamo Etcetera. Soy muy, muy hermosa. No… soy feo. Muy feo.

Okay, maybe I'm kidding a little bit. Sorry about that. So, the teacher set us all these tasks but I'm totally done! Yippee! Though... I probably got everything wrong. Oh well! It's not like I have any chance of succeeding anyway.

So, there's this kid next to me. I think he's even worse at Spanish than me! I mean, he's sorta cute, but he keeps asking me for help.

Oh! Oh no you don't! I can see you reading this out of the corner of your eye!

Sorry about that. He just told me I had cute hair. Which is, like, totally a lie, but I gave him my best flirty smile and said, "thank you" like a good girl. Or maybe he's into bad girls? Oh no! Maybe I should wink or pull up my skirt so that he can see my thigh?

...he just went and sat with a real friend. Which is completely against the seating plan.

_I'm so telling on you!_

* * *

I overhead the guy talking to his friend about some creep.

It was me, wasn't it, No-name?

* * *

Victoria! Where art thou Victoria? Thy friend of thine – this isn't working for me...

Anyway, it's lunch. School's been boring so far. Like. Boring. I'm trying to convince everyone (except Victoria, because Victoria is a ditcher and a _loner_ and is actually probably making out with some hot guy and that is far more exciting than I am, oh, I wish I was pretty) that my hair is disgusting. They say it's cute.

And Electra just matter-of-factly pointed out that my mum _is_ a part time hair-dresser, but, y'know. Details like that are irrelevant.

Oh, stuff this. I'll be ugly whether I'm bald or own the most luscious locks in the school. Alliteration win!

I just found a block of chocolate in my bag. Holy mother of-! Mom! You can't do this to me! Not now! Not now when I feel so sad and insecure and-

This stuff. It's delicious. Ah, bumbum, now everyone's stealing it. I know why. It's because they're trying to help me with my weight. But! But but but! I will _not_ let them help me, oh no! This chocolate is _mine_!

* * *

Dammit. Why do I do this to myself?

* * *

This is Etcy-baby, reporting from her Algebra class. I wonder, No-name, do you know any maths? Cause I sure don't. The teacher just left the class for whatever reason – wait, what? Some nerd is talking to me...

* * *

Turns out I've been putting letters in the wrongs places or some shi – poo like that. Ack! Why don't I ever write in pencil?

Anyway, nerd over here is going to help me out.

* * *

He wants me to finish his English homework because he heard that I was a total English nerd.

YOU HEARD WRONG, NERDY NERD.

* * *

I'm watching TV and procrastinating. And uh, what is with these ads these days?

_Sometimes, when I cook... I weep..._ Yeah, me too buddy. Cause I know I'm about to make myself even fatter.

_I love to multitask and I love to listen... and if there is no woman for me to listen to, I practice my listening face... I love to listen with power... I love to hear the problems of your friends... tell me more..._You sound like my man. Come right over and oh yes, use that listening face, c'mon baby-

I don't even know. Night!

* * *

**September 2nd, 2010**

**Mood**: Porridge-defying queenly queen mood.

I am rather proud to say that I succeeded in getting up early and snatching some toast. _Yes, we have bread! BREAD!_ Sucks to have such a busy mom that never goes shopping... anyway, I ate my _one_ piece of bread and then I had a shower. I think my hair actually looks decent today. I mean, I'm still ugly, but my hair looks a little, teensy bit better.

So, I texted Victoria this morning – and well, everyone else, but no one really seems to care about my chirpy _good morning sunshine_! Anyway, she was just... just like... urgh. "Etcy, I'm sick."

I can imagine her saying that with her pretty "piss-off" face. Haha.

So, um... what is it today? Friday? YAY – oh, way to ruin my parade, Mom. It's Thursday. Or so she says?

* * *

The calendar is against me too. F this poo.

I'm so clean... you know, the other day, Plato and Pouncival were trying to teach me to swear. I was like, "Only those who are too uncreative to find other words swear, you know." They laughed at me and rattled off a list of words I didn't even know!

No, No-name. You do not get to learn them. _They're my secrets, teehee_!

But yeah. Is it creepy that Plato's kinda cute when he swears? Yes? It is? Thought so. If anyone reads this, I think I'm going to throw myself out of the bus.

Except... my mom would probably run up and catch me, huh...

Speaking of! I have a plan today. I refuse to be embarrassed further! From now on, I am Etcy, independent and majestic! Ooh, I like the sound of that. Independent, majestic Etcetera. Like, Etcetera pronounced Etcete_rahrr_, with the "ra" all fancy-schmancylike.

What was I saying? Let me read back... oh, right. So, I'm going to leave super-early and my mom will perform her dastardly deeds no further cause she won't even be there this time! I'll tell you of my success later, No-name. Insert winky face here!

* * *

...

I don't even...

Electra is comforting me. I'll write later, No-name.

* * *

We found Jemima alone. Turns out she's a total loner on her bus and always gets to school far too early. In my head, I called her a nerd, but I would never do that out loud. Even when she's alone, I bet Jemima has toms drooling all over her precious face. Eurgh.

* * *

Bio...

Teacher is talking about dissecting things... he's drawing something on the board. What is – EURGHHHOMGSNFJKK

* * *

I'm in the bathroom. It smells like vomit and poop in here.

But I am so, so innocent. Well, I didn't do the doodoo anyway. I think I'm going to hang out here for a while – wait, someone's coming in. Gotta go.

* * *

I'm in the nurse's office. Teacher wass showing pictures from the internet. I'm too delicate for this kinda thing. I think I'll hang out here until lunch or something.

Ooh, you know what that means! Sleep! _SLEEP_!

* * *

The nurse woke me up. She had the most sour look on her face. She says, "It's lunchtime, kiddo, you should get some food in you."

And I was all, "No miss, I don't think I can keep it down."

And I'm proud. Just think! I'm going to be skinny in no time. Now, I need to find something in my bag. Hang on a mo.

* * *

More chocolate was in my bag. My mouth is smeared with it.

Before I get depressed again, I should tell you what mom did this morning. So, I got out of the house nice and sneaky, just like I said I would. Everything was perfect. I got on the bus and chatted with Electra for a while.

And then I notice the car racing up alongside the bus. And my mom. Frantically waving. Waving all the stuff I need for school at me.

They stopped the bus for me. And mom got on. And... and... she came and said (jokingly) she was going to give me a spanking for being so silly. And I was so red. And everyone was laughing at me and my mom winked, gave me her usual kissy morning ritual and left.

I feel worse now. Goodbye, No-name. Goodbye.

* * *

I got to go home early because I vomited up all the chocolate.

I didn't try. I just... I saw this diagram of the internal organs in a cat and I... I couldn't help it. Poor nurse. She smelt horrible after that.

I'm going to text Victoria. Seeya later alligator.

* * *

OH MY GOD VICTORIA ISN'T REPLYING PLEASE DON'T TELL ME SHE'S DEAD OH MY

* * *

Mistoffelees just texted me. She's taking a nap. Am I really that boring...?

Urgh.

* * *

**A/N: So! We have Victoria! Etcetera! Jemima! Anyone else? :D This ended up so long. Oh! And by the way, those ads Etcy mentioned? They're real.**

**I'm still looking for possible names for Etcetera's diary. Whoever's name I choose can request a oneshot from me? XD  
**


	3. Sept 3rd, Sept 4th

**September 3rd, 2010**

**Feeling like**: MY EYES WILL NOT OPEN. OPEN. OPEN SESAME. Oh, there they are.

Sorry about that. I got to bed at 3 or something last night and now it's... 5am. Mom's clattering around in the kitchen for whatever reason.

MOM. It is 5am. F-I-V-E. Anyway, I'm not getting back to sleep. Sorry if my writing's messy, I'm writing at the window by the light of the almost-rising sun. I think I'm going to check my facebook. Right. Here we are. Oh oh oh shiiiiiiii...zzle. SHIZZLE. My computer was turned up so loud. And, well, I don't have that default Windows "do do-do-do-do do dooo" sound.

My computer _talks_ to me. And it was all, "**HELLO FRIEND**" at max volume _ohgodshizzlegod_.

Now that the trauma is over... hmm... log in... what's my password? I'd better write it down here. I think it was Ch0C0l4t3L0v1n... yup. I made that one... at the start of the year. My other password, I made when I was seven or eight. It was... "Victoria". But I CHANGED IT OHGOD.

So, facebook. No notifications... this makes me feel sad. I mean, I post on everyone's walls all the time and they don't even bother to comment or, dammit, _like_? Status time... "YOU LOSERS DON'T GET TO WATCH THE SUNRISE HAHAHA".

All good. Now.

Wait, wait... what's this? Some tom talking about his project on... _velociraptors_? OH! This is fate! Oh! OH! FATE! I PRAISE YOU! _Velociraptor. VELOOOCIRAPTOR._

You can be my pet Velociraptor. Are you _proud_?

I'm breathless. I am breathless with joy. I'm now going to print out pictures of these beautiful creatures and glue them all over your cover, Velociraptor. OHO.

* * *

Mom was making me a surprise chocolate cake in the kitchen.

...

_Mom_.

Anyway, now that I'm out of tears of joy and sadness and I don't even know, I retrieved your velociraptor pictures and gosh, you look _stunning_. I'm like, your proud mother. I know how Mom feels about me. I will never leave your side, Velociraptor.

* * *

I think Electra or someone asked me to bring some chocolate today. So I got a little sack-y bag from the kitchen and dropped lots of chocolate-y coconut-y ball-y things inside.

And then I giggled. This is why I have friends. _Chocolate-y cononut-y ball-y things inside a sack..._

* * *

On the bus. Ignoring Electra, which is cool. She's making a face at me right now – she reminds me a bit of... a teletubbie.

I'm slightly frightened.

Anyway, she had the nerve to ask me why I decorated you, Velociraptor, and I told her your name and you know what? _She laughed at me_. Hence the ignoring.

On my way out of the house today, Mom thrust a couple of slices of cake on me. And then she hugged me and told me not to get sick. She also informed the Biology teacher that I was a delicate, fragile flower. He asked her if she always referred to me as a reproductive organ, and then laughed at his own joke. But that aside... she then phoned up the nurse to ask if there was a special bed that I could reserve all year during and after the second hour.

The nurse, sensibly, said no.

Electra's face now resembles that of a Bulbasaur... Hey! I never watched Pokémon when I was little! Oh, Velociraptor, why do you torture me so? I must ignore _you_ now!

* * *

It's first hour. I can feel myself vibrating. I mean, my phone... _Velociraptor_! You inappropriate diary! Anyway, Tantomile just approached me. I've like, hardly talked to her but I'll put on my great big smile and she will love me.

She's talking to me. Hang on.

* * *

Alriiiiight, I have gained a friend or admirer or something. _Study time together_! Which essentially means party. I do hope she knows that. Well, my mom sure knows it, so...

Tantomile looked really awkward. Do I bring that out within people? Awkwardness? Really, Velociraptor? You'd say so?

Ooh, here comes teacher. "¿Qué?" he says all Spanish-like, pointing at you.

And I'm all like, "Es mi cuaderno de notas. Yo escribir notas."

_And he walks off, nodding and such!_ Ahaha!

* * *

Biology teacher just walked in and was like, "Girls, stop talking to each other. Boys, stop playing with each other."

_Snicker._

* * *

He came up to me. And then… and then he said, "Hi, flower. _Giggle._ How're you feeling today, precious, delicate _flower_? We'll be discussing the internal organs of-"

I ran. I'm in the toilets again, refraining from throwing up the water I ate for breakfast. WHAT. A. _CREEPY._ PEDOPHILE.

* * *

Lunchtime. Victoria can't seem to refrain from trying to gain my attention today, heehee. I'm feeling the luurrrve. But no, I will pretend that I am too good for her, I'll send back simple, boring replies and she'll be like, "Wow, isn't Etcetera impressive? She's so cool!"

Or something.

I gave out some of my balls today. My friends had the nerve to eat them. They ate my balls!

* * *

Oh, like, poopy! I'm so tired I forgot to talk, like, how I normally do! Oh Velociraptor!

It's, like AP English Literature. My teacher, like, told me I seemed very calm, like, today – oh, who am I kidding. I _am_ tired, too tired to act cute and ditzy.

Oh_ hell_.

* * *

I lured Tantomile in my lair and am preparing to eat her. _Grahahas._

Okay, no, I'm not a cannibal, Velociraptor. I think it's kinda cute how at the moment, Tantomile's getting out her pens and pencils and her Spanish books and is eyeing me really oddly because I'm trying to blow up one of my special sparkly study-date balloons.

Mom just brought in the cake. _Oooh,_ we're going to have fun.

* * *

Tantomile kept talking to me in broken Spanglish. _Broken_. I ended up calmly and professionally spouting of some true Spanish to her because I am the Spanish _Pro_ and… well, she ended up correcting me when she had no right!

But I never blew up the balloon. And we only shared a slice of cake. Next time… _oho_, next time…

(Next Monday, I mean. I made her. She said maybe and smiled.)

* * *

**September 4th, 2010**

**Feeling like**: I AM SO SCARED MY FACE JUST FELL OFF.

Velociraptor. I've been feeling like throwing up all morning. I won't, not on you, baby.

We're going to the theme park. And I've been all like, "OH yeah, theme park, I am the _master_ of theme park. BAHAHA." In reality, I am completely terrified. And the worst part is, now everyone expects me to go on every ride omg I am dying inside.

* * *

Mom is holding me tight as I cry all over her just-brushed fur. It's difficult to write in you while she has me, but I will.

"I'll save you from those rollercoasters," she says. "It's okay, baby."

I think... it's time for me to man up.

* * *

We're on our way. I'm squished between cats I can't even remember the names of, even though they're my friends, I'm so scared. OH NAMELESS FRIENDS, why do you do this to me?

* * *

Alright. I'm fine so far. Everyone's been totally admiring my bravery. I had to go on something by myself but I just closed my eyes and my eyes and my mouth and my nostrils and my butt – er... nevermind. That was, like, slightly unladylike.

Anyway, Victoria's shirt was puked on and she's currently wandering around in a bikini top and shorts. She looks... well, slutty, to say the least. And there are teenagers everywhere turning their heads and _admiring_. This is depressing. At least she has something to _admire_. And I think I really need to stop looking, so I'm going to do my magic and conjure a cure to sluttyness!

And there we have it. She's fine. Praise the Etcetera!

* * *

I stopped going on rides just to see Victoria go on them alone. I'm such a nice friend. /insert grin here/

But I think everyone was disappointed in me too. And then I told them about how I had gone on too many rides and I would probably throw up on them and they stopped looking disappointed, so it's okay.

* * *

ETCY HAS A CHOCOLATE ICECREAM OHSHIZZLE ETCY JUST DRIPPED IT ON VELOCIRAPTOR FORGIVE ME BABY.

* * *

I wish Plato would stop calling me Etcy-baby. /sad face/ I'm no baby. I'm a _maaaan_.

* * *

What's with Victoria and getting all the toms? What is this? Electra and I are mumbling together about what a total _slut_ she is. Nah, we're her friends, we're just teasing. She's eyeing us oddly.

You'd _better,_ Victoria. Next time, boy belongs to _me_.

* * *

Oooh! Sleepover! Sleepover!

So, this is great. I love Victoria's house, even if all the dead stuff makes me vomit in my mouth a little. And I love sleepovers at her house because we always get drunk on food and go crazy and omg yay.

We're getting pizza and Jemima is rolling her eyes at me because I'm teasing her. You know, the last time I got pizza was with Electra. She brought it in while I was going bathroom and when I opened the box, there was mysteriously only _seven pieces_.

She then informed me it was the diet pizza. Oh, Electra. Stealing jokes from youtube, are we?

Anyway, we're going to play Chubby Bunny and it looks like I'm going to have to prove, once again, just how big my mouth is. Good times, Veloci, good times.

Right-o, byeee, Velociraptoorr!

* * *

**A/N: I think I write too much. Anyway, just re-iterating a point Neko made on her profile, I am not the "leader" of this diary project! Neko started it, so please direct your questions about everything to her!**

**Right, now that that's done... yay time?**


End file.
